I had a dream last night about a childhood friend that I haven’t spoken with in years. This morning, I sent her a message saying I’d had a surprise dream about her. She replied back, “Isn’t that ironic” – her family had buried their father just yesterday, on what would have been his 99th birthday.
With tears in my eyes, I remember this man. He was gentle and smart, funny and wise. He worked hard and enjoyed outdoor adventures. He was a loving and supportive husband, a caring and involved father, and a committed philanthropist as well. He would sooner have cut off his own hand than raise it against someone who was sleeping in the street or fleeing from injustice in another country.
He cared about, and for, others.
As I think about his quiet and gentle strength – this kind of gentle masculinity – I contrast it to the guy in the big truck who cut me off on the freeway yesterday, and the guy in a truck who flipped me off because I tried to walk across a country road just when he was racing around the corner at Indy 500 speed.*
I think about the masked men pushing women down to the ground at gunpoint.
I think about the men hauling fathers and children (children!) off to prison just for having the nerve to try to find hope in a new land.
And I think of my three sons, just trying to survive with some measure of joy and happiness, in a world that is hovering on the edge of darkness.
As much as we hear, nowadays, that we need a world led by women (which I’ve been proposing for years!), we also need the men of the world to find themselves. How? Well, men’s groups would be a good start.
I know all of two men who are in men’s groups. One is my eldest son, and one is an older gentleman acquaintance.
I imagine a lot of men would find peace in laying down the learned persona of strength and authority. And relief in the option to cry and bare the softness of their soul.
I mean, it must be exhausting, and absolutely soul draining, to have to try so hard to be strong, rich, and sexy all the time. Hey guys, the world wants to see the real you – your luminous soul -not just the dude who (traditionally) has earned his value by being able to produce, protect, and procreate.
I can envision a world where women are leading the way, with their skills of compassion, collaboration, co-creation and community building, and they are supported and encouraged by strong and humble men who have set aside their egos and are walking in their true might. A man walking tall – in spirit, not in ego – is one of the most beautiful and powerful creatures on earth.
Ok, I know this picture is stylized to show a gorgeous man. But honestly, this is what an awakened man, of any physical size or shape, looks like to a woman when he is walking in humility and light. Hot!
Please comment and share if you know of men in men’s groups. Not football fantasy or sports groups. Men’s groups that explore issues of the soul and the heart. Men’s groups that allow our brothers to put down their guard, and lay down their defenses, in order to just practice being themselves – maybe selves they’ve never even had a chance to meet!
So, speaking to the men – are you in, have you ever been in, or do you know of anyone in a men’s group? Would you join a men’s group?
For the women – would you like the men in your life to have been/be in a men’s group? Why?
Please join the conversation here. The world really needs us, now, to be talking about this stuff.
I love you!
❤️
Cate
PS. If you want to read more about what IS the Divine Masculine, I write about it here
*Some of my best friends are men with trucks, so no bias here against truck owners!!😊